Monday, 6 March 2017

Yes !! She is a Divorcee !!

“Sonam, please check the guest list once. Hope I have not missed any names out here!” Sonam’s mom said to her while putting the list on the table.
 “Mom, how will I read with wet mehendi on my hands,” Sonam said to her mom, laughing.
“Oh yes! I am sorry, beta! You know how excited I am, with only a few days left for your wedding. I still can’t believe that my daughter, my world is getting married. Will miss you Sonam! Love you loads !” Sonam’s mom said, fighting through her tears.
“Mom! please don’t get emotional now. I am here. You should be happy that I am getting married to the person who loves me like anything. Raj is an awesome guy. He will never bring tears in my eyes. So be happy now. I love you too, mumma!” Sonam said, hugging her mother.
“Mom, please read out the names on the list. After all, I want all my friends to be here.”
Sonam’s mom read out the names one by one.
“Mom, where is Anamika’s name? Have not you invited her? I didn’t hear her name on the list.”
“Who’s Anamika?“, her mom asked, surprised.
“Come on, Mom! Don’t you know Anamika? She is my close friend. She was always there for me, whenever I needed her the most. How come you forgot to invite her to my wedding?“, Sonam asked
“I didn’t forget her,” Sonam’s mom replied instantly.
“Then? Why is she not invited? ” Sonam persisted.
“Don’t you know?”
“No! What?”
“She is a divorcee!”
“I don’t want her to be around you.”
“But why? She is a close friend of mine.”
“I don’t care. But she won’t be coming. She is a divorcee!”
“Mom! Are you kidding me! How is my wedding related to her divorce.”
“Sonam! There’s no point in arguing any further. She won’t be coming to the wedding, and that’s final.”
“I don’t want my daughter surrounded by a girl who has failed in her relationship with her husband.These people have a different mindset. They are non-adjusting people, who simply opt for divorce when they fail to fulfill their responsibilities. They are full of ego and pride. They don’t care about the consequences that both families have to face after they are divorced. They are self-centred. Moreover, a divorcee brings bad luck. I don’t want you to be in contact with such a person,” was her mother’s final stand.
“Enough Mom! I can’t believe you said all this. You have really hurt me. I didn’t expect this from you at all. How can you say this when you are a woman yourself?,” Sonam retorted.
The girl you termed ‘self-centred’ was a sweet daughter, a loving, honest wife and an innocent sanskari (one who devoutly follows cultural traditions). She was also a caring daughter-in-law, who left her job for the sake of her in-laws.
The girl who, you said, is full of ‘ego and pride’, knew how to offer unconditional love and respect to her families.
The girl, who is ‘non-adjustable’ in your opinion, was putting down her self-respect for the sake of her husband’s family.
What do you expect a girl to do after being cheated by her husband - other than filing for a divorce ?
She had devoted four years of her life for the sake of her husband and in-laws. What did she get in return? Physical and mental torture!
Despite all this, she had wanted to carry on with her married life with her unfaithful husband for the sake of her family and society. However, the circumstances didn’t even allow her to continue. Only then did she break free from her cage and suffering!
I wonder if you would respond in the same manner if I suffer a similar fate!
It’s very easy to comment on and judge the lives of others. Really, this is a very strange world! Here, the woman is the only sufferer in most cases. Almost nobody accuses the husband or asks him why he was unfaithful to his wife. On the other hand, the finger is always pointed towards the irresponsible, self-centred, egoistic woman!
The problem is that we judge people based on our own perceptions, without knowing at all what the person has actually experienced.
Do we question why the girl took this life-changing decision?
The fear of leading a lonely life afflicts almost all of us. That is why we desire a partner who is loyal to us.
A woman deserves a man who is loyal and affectionate to her, protects her, and takes care of her health, needs and desires. However, what happens when your chosen male partner turns out to unfaithful, unprotective and does not care for you at all?
In cases of divorce,almost no one questions the husband.Barely anyone wags their finger at his character, only because he is a man. Just because he is a man, it is ‘cool’ for him to be involved in an extra-marital affair.A divorced man can  be invited almost everywhere.
Then, why are the odds stacked only against women?
Why do women bear the brunt of a divorce and its consequences, whereas their ex-male partners roam scot-free?
When will society learn to pay the respect due to a divorced woman?
While a woman may not think of divorce from the outset, what option is she left with if ‘her man’ proves to be unfaithful?
Yes, she is a divorcee! I am proud of her and the fact that she is now single and not living with a cheating, characterless guy!
Yes, she is a divorcee! And I respect her for her decision to come out of the cage and express her own individuality!

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